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I am so nervous right now.....

They have about 2 hours before they take Marleena to see her dad's side of the family. I know I shouldn't be as nervous as I am right now, but I am. I'm shaking, my palms are sweaty and I'm dying for a cigarrette. THIS IS KILLING ME! JESUS I MISS MY BABY GIRL! I kinda enjoy the freedom of having a little time to myself, but not a whole damn week! SHIT! It's bugging the hell outta me right now. I just want to have my baby back with me. I'm trying to get everything together for the sake of my sanity, but dman I'M FRIGGING FREAKIN OUT! aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! CRAP!!!!! Gotta get it together. I know where I'm going after work, to wind down, chill out, etc. Just over to O'Charlies for a nice relaxing basket of cheddar pepper thingy ma bobbers. GOD!!!!!!!! I just wish I could chill out or something. It's not doing me any good to be loosing my mind. I know I will feel a TON better after it's all over and whatever. I think Bonnie wants me to be back with Lance. I don't want to be with Lance. He gets back on his feet after we've been married for 3 years. Why couldn't he have gotten the TWO good jobs while we were together and had taken care of our family????? He's an ass. I'm struggling with everything and it seems like his life is ALL better. Whatever. It's like I said, I was more than likely the cause of his failure, making him feel like he could just sit around the house and take care of him. I guess it was just me babying him, and now that me and Marleena have left, he's a grown ass man. Thaty's fucking retarded. Whatever. Finally calming down.....aaawwwwww, soothing chilling outness. lol. :D But anywho. Yeah....laters.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Dec. 13th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
I would have a difficult time with that as well, a week is a long time...I'm hoping it will go by quickly for you!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )